The Book That Saved the Earth is a humorous play set in the twenty-fifth century. It narrates how a book of nursery rhymes, Mother Goose, saved the Earth from a Martian invasion in the year 2040. The play highlights how arrogance and half-baked knowledge can lead to comical misunderstandings and ultimate failure.
The play opens in the twenty-fifth century at the Museum of Ancient History. The Historian welcomes the audience and explains that the twentieth century was known as the 'Era of the Book' because books were used for everything—from teaching to decorating. She reveals that a single book of nursery rhymes saved Earth from a Martian invasion in 2040.
The scene shifts back in time to Mars Space Control. The arrogant ruler, Think-Tank, is consulting his magic mirror to confirm his supreme intelligence. He orders his apprentice, Noodle, to establish contact with the Martian space probe crew sent to invade Earth, which he dismisses as a "primitive ball of mud."
The Martian probe crew—Captain Omega, Lieutenant Iota, and Sergeant Oop—has landed on Earth and entered the Centerville Public Library. Confused by the thousands of books, they have no idea where they are or what these objects are. Sergeant Oop suggests they might be hats, even putting one on his head.
When Think-Tank is consulted, he confidently declares that the library is a "crude refreshment stand" and that the books are actually sandwiches, the main staple of the Earth diet. To confirm his theory, he orders Sergeant Oop to eat one. Oop finds it incredibly dry and tasteless ("dry as Martian dust").
Noodle politely suggests that these "sandwiches" might be communication devices. Think-Tank immediately claims this idea as his own, declaring them "communication sandwiches" and ordering the crew to listen to them. When they hear nothing, Noodle again suggests that they are for "eye communication" rather than ear communication. Think-Tank orders the crew to open a large, colorful book (Mother Goose) and decipher the "code" (the text and illustrations).
To help the crew decode the book, Think-Tank orders them to take intelligence-boosting vitamins. Once they swallow the vitamins, they begin reading and misinterpreting the nursery rhymes with terrifying literalness:
The Rhyme:
Mistress Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With cockle shells and silver bells
And pretty maids all in a row.
Think-Tank's Interpretation: He concludes that Earthlings have combined agriculture and mining, allowing them to grow rare metals like silver and high explosives (cockle shells). He fears Earth's advanced technology and halts the invasion fleet.
The Rhyme:
Hey diddle diddle! The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon,
The little dog laughed to see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
Think-Tank's Interpretation: He believes Earthlings have taught their domesticated animals musical culture and space techniques. He panics, thinking Earth is launching an interplanetary attack using millions of cows.
The Rhyme:
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men,
Cannot put Humpty Dumpty together again.
Think-Tank's Interpretation: Seeing the illustration of Humpty Dumpty, Think-Tank screams in terror. He believes Humpty Dumpty is a depiction of himself (his "Great and Mighty Balloon Brain") and that Earthlings are planning to capture Mars Central Control. Terrified, he orders an immediate evacuation of Mars and flees a hundred million miles away to Alpha Centauri.
The Historian returns to the stage and explains that this is how a dusty old book of nursery rhymes saved Earth. By the twenty-fifth century, Earthlings resumed friendly relations with Mars. Think-Tank was replaced by the wise and clever Noodle. The Martians were taught the difference between books and sandwiches, learned to read, and even established a model library in Marsopolis. However, they still avoid reading one specific book: Mother Goose.